Mom,
I don’t know how you’ll feel after reading this letter while
I am typing a word and wandering if I should type it or not. You were right, I
should always think of what will happen next, how I will go tomorrow, what’ll
happen if any unexpected event visits me and so on, that I have never paid
attention. Now, I know about all those you warned me earlier. Maybe that’s why
people always say a stitch in time saves nine. I should cut my coat according
to the cloth, but I didn’t. I am totally fucked up mom! And I don’t know when I
will be that former jolly Sabbir once again. I admit, I am solely responsible for the
hardship I am going through these days. I am not lamenting for what’s happened
to me. I am not even regretting. I am just having deep breath, wiping out my
tears and trying to do something meaningful. I was never sincere to everything
I am supposed to do. Yes, I did everything I had to but they were just merely
to carry out responsibilities. I should be much more sincere when I realized
what you expect me to do. Mom, I know you have witnessed much more sufferings
than what I am experiencing these days. Mom, you know, I am not upset today
even when I am experiencing such hardship. I believe every suffering ends with
happiness. I have learnt so many things these days. People say it right, we
Bengalis don’t realize the importance of blessing until it is gone! Mom, I
didn’t write this letter to let you know how I am going these days. You know, I
have made some promises to myself. I will tell you if you promise that you
won’t laugh at my crazy thoughts and promises. Mom, I won’t marry until my
monthly earning becomes at least four figures in $USD and become father until
it gears up five figures. I know it is difficult but now impossible at all. It
may seem laughing stock, I know. But I won’t ever give up mom! Life doesn’t
count how many times you’ve undergone failures, but how many times you heads up
and afford the maximum of your ability than ever before. Mom, I men’t be your
Lokkhi-chhele that always pays heed to your each and every words but I’m
sanguine of being the best father of my child if He permits. Pray for me to the
almighty, Mom.
Love you like the way you miss me Maa!
