Open Letter To My Mom III

Mom,

I don’t know how you’ll feel after reading this letter while I am typing a word and wandering if I should type it or not. You were right, I should always think of what will happen next, how I will go tomorrow, what’ll happen if any unexpected event visits me and so on, that I have never paid attention. Now, I know about all those you warned me earlier. Maybe that’s why people always say a stitch in time saves nine. I should cut my coat according to the cloth, but I didn’t. I am totally fucked up mom! And I don’t know when I will be that former jolly Sabbir once again.  I admit, I am solely responsible for the hardship I am going through these days. I am not lamenting for what’s happened to me. I am not even regretting. I am just having deep breath, wiping out my tears and trying to do something meaningful. I was never sincere to everything I am supposed to do. Yes, I did everything I had to but they were just merely to carry out responsibilities. I should be much more sincere when I realized what you expect me to do. Mom, I know you have witnessed much more sufferings than what I am experiencing these days. Mom, you know, I am not upset today even when I am experiencing such hardship. I believe every suffering ends with happiness. I have learnt so many things these days. People say it right, we Bengalis don’t realize the importance of blessing until it is gone! Mom, I didn’t write this letter to let you know how I am going these days. You know, I have made some promises to myself. I will tell you if you promise that you won’t laugh at my crazy thoughts and promises. Mom, I won’t marry until my monthly earning becomes at least four figures in $USD and become father until it gears up five figures. I know it is difficult but now impossible at all. It may seem laughing stock, I know. But I won’t ever give up mom! Life doesn’t count how many times you’ve undergone failures, but how many times you heads up and afford the maximum of your ability than ever before. Mom, I men’t be your Lokkhi-chhele that always pays heed to your each and every words but I’m sanguine of being the best father of my child if He permits. Pray for me to the almighty, Mom.

Love you like the way you miss me Maa!